Perspective

Mood really depends on one's perspective. One can be happier if the person try to see things from another point of view. For instance, take others criticisms as motivation or even complements. Criticism often took place when you did wrong, or someone jealous of you. Both situations happen because of you. Hence, that's your fault. The first one is probably understandable. For the second situation, do you know why I said 'others jealous of you' is also your fault? Basically, do not ever want to share your joy, happiness and excitement to public. How I define public? Mean those people that are just 'chit chat' friend, who are not able to believe you. They will probably backstab you. Therefore, if you accidentally share your happiness with this kind of people. Congratulation that they are going to interpret that as "show off". 

If you really meet this type of situation, first thing you do is COOL DOWN. Do not let anyone doesn't care about you trigger your anger and cause your cells' death. If he/she is the person you care, you should be delighted as you start to know your friend. But don't forget to confirm the situation before you hate him/her. 

I strongly recommend people to zip your mouth to those you aren't that close. Otherwise, you'll be backstabbed.

In my perspective, friendship is valuable. I admit, I was not mature to handle friendship problems (before Form 4), and therefore I hurt my friends unconsciously as I pissed on them. Whenever I recall these memories, I was thinking what an idiot am I. I knew this, for a long time. Once, I often chat with her through phone, almost once or twice a week. However, I disgusted and avoid her. I was such a bitch, sorry. Lesson: Don't do anything cause yourself remorseful on the future.

Since Form 4, I begun to work my brain and EQ normally. I value family and friendship and be grateful of that. So, I usually took initiative to apology when there is an argument as I believe "Ego is never can more important than friendship".

Nonetheless, don't expect me to put off my pride and beg for your friendship all the time. I'll try, but when I stop, that's a signal of touching the limitation. Then, I'll stop imagining and teach myself a lesson. Relax, I didn't specify anyone in this case, indeed! Currently, I don't have any of these problems. 

I wrote a long post because I didn't write an essay for a long time, not to express my negative emotions.